Friday,
December 30, 2005
CHRISTMAS:
We have had some sunny
days… only a smattering of rain. Maybe the rains are finally coming to a
stop. When the sun comes out it is nice and hot. The daily temperatures travel from a lowly
26C up to 30C … and I sweat. Funny, when there is no choice, I forget
that I am sweating. Not all days are hot. It is the cold time of
the year now, between Christmas and New Year’s, so the nights are quite
cool. Find I am sleeping in my pj’s and sweater. It’s cloudy today. I look forward to the sunny ones.
Yesterday evening, as I
walked up toward the mountain/and the shops, from the e-mail shop it was
already dark and beautifully clear! The top of the mountain was crystal
clear and the “Deepam” flame was burning large and bright. It is
thrilling to see this huge flame sprouting from the top of the mountain.
What a celebration. The
actual sacred day of Deepam was Wednesday (Dec 13th). The caldron of 1000 liters of ghee was hefted
to the top of the mountain, by a stream of men Tuesday afternoon, for its
lighting at 6pm. The downtown temple
priests signal the lighting with a release of fireworks, then the whole town
lights up with fireworks for the next hour. We didn’t get to actually see
the flame this year… heavy cloud and rain.
But the fireworks were quite fun.
People streamed 12
abreast around the mountain for 6 days. Following the final ‘Deepam’
day on Wednesday, December 13th, there was the full moon on Thursday which constituted
yet another ‘pradakshina’. So, it was almost a full week of people
trekking about the mountain… a 14 km/8 mi barefoot walk.
We left at 3:15am to
start our pradakshina. Some of our group had arranged to have breakfast
(rice and lentils on a palm leaf) after our walk at the Ashram, which is served
about 7am. When you meander… it is to be
a slow concentrated walk, so one can focus on the spiritual heart, or
Shiva, or whatever God is important to you… it takes about 4 hours.
What a circus, even at 3 in the morning. How is one to concentrate?
The full stretch of the 8 mile road is lined with concession stands:
food, jewelry; musical instruments; hats; plastic toys; pots & pans;
grains; ropes…. then all the religious foundations/temples with lights flashing
in celebration; the tractor companies advertising; and most astounding,
‘robots’ in all shapes with flashing neon lights, which test one’s
hearing! (How can you hear anything??) Given it was three in the morning,
the stands were not all ‘alive’. Many attendants were asleep in the stall,
rolled up in a blanket. Added to this the general chaos is the noise of
microphones blaring with music and speeches; and the temples with theirs
prayers and chants. I just could not call
this a spiritual experience. Yet, the priests were very busy attending
their temples and shrines and offering the blessing, which, of course, include
the ash for the forehead and the dot of ochre paste for the 3rd
eye. The point is to keep the mountain on your right, and walk counter
clockwise unwinding that which you have got ‘wound up’ in your system… a
cleansing process. So!! I guess it does not have to be quiet and
profound: So much for ‘my’ programming.
On this occasion, all
the elements are ‘auspicious’: Deepam celebrates the rise of the star
Kharti, in the heavens at the same time as there is the rise of the full
moon. Each year the temple priests determine which days are the most
auspicious for the festival, particularly for the lighting of the flame. This
year it rained!! It poured with rain some of every day of the festival. (Not my idea of auspicious… more of my
programming!) Fortunately, our 4 hours were dry!! Thanks to our priestess,
“Annette” from Tennessee, who determined when we would walk. I do have to admit
that I walked the 14 km without a problem… no swelling of knee joints, which
is my usual response to a long walk. I felt a bit of stiffness, but there
was no swelling. I was quite energized by the walk… and it wasn’t the
circus aspect… so???
My favorite part of the
festival is the wonderful flame on the mountaintop, which stays lit for 6 - 10
days; and the cattle fair that accompanies the festival. You get a real
taste of the country life watching the farmers prepare their bullocks each day,
and the streams of farmers walking the road, inspecting. I am also very
impressed with the general tenor of the 10 day festival… everyone in good
spirits! yet no drinking or roughhousing. There are police and ambulance
around… control is visible, but I never saw any misbehavior. Imagine 10
days of festivities in one of our towns with a population of 100,000, suddenly
inundated with 10’s of thousands. I can only think of the Grey Cup or the
Super Bowl, and that is perhaps unfair. It is stated that when the earth
is ‘ripe’… with the auspiciousness of the rising star and moon; and the person
is ‘ripe’ with an open heart, then ‘grace’ descends: healings, ‘boons’ (gifts
from the Gods), and spiritual openings/transformations proliferate.
What a time of year!
After Deepam comes Yogi Ramsurat Kumar’s death anniversary; followed by Ramana
Maharshi’s birthday celebration on December 19th; then Jesus’
birthday on the 25th. I was delighted to receive a small Xmas
gift from one of the servants, wishing me Happy ‘Krish Mass’. To top it
off this year, there was a birth of a baby in our compound. The
gatekeeper’s youngest son was married last year and his wife gave birth on December
26th!! The baby is to be named Sri Ram (after Yogi
Ramsurat). I went to visit the mother yesterday. She is staying
with her sister-in-law… wife of first son. Like most houses, it is
concrete with a thatched roof. There are 2 rooms separated with an entry
hall. No furniture. Sandaha was reclining on the floor at the back
of the entryway. She was on a blanket
with the baby tucked beside her. Sandaha and the baby will stay with the
sister-in-law for a month, no outings… after 45 days the baby will be taken to
the downtown temple for its blessing. I brought a small soft quilt…
thinking there had to be some softness for the baby… I’m not sure what they
will do with it?? I guess you really should train from early on to sleep
on concrete!! As I was a visitor, I also brought along some bananas, the
traditional fruit offering; and was served ‘milk coffee’… steaming hot milk and
coffee, served with 2 cups so you can pour it back and forth for cooling.
A nice visit.... four of us sitting chatting... me not understanding a word...
but! getting most of it none the less.
As you can tell, it has
all been a bit overwhelming... how to catch all of this??? If I am to be
guided by the Indian culture, it is not to 'catch' it... it all takes care of
itself. I can still feel it... a heightened sense of ??? wonder?
I will finish now… off
this evening to listen to a friend sing medieval Tamil chants.
Love and Happy New Year! Paula
Saturday,
January 14, 2006
“Into
the Flame….”
As I lie on my bench-bed these
evenings, I listen to the small insects ‘crackle’, as they are drawn into the
flame of the candle burning on the shelf at the head of my bed. (My
reading lamp is without a bulb… ‘til we find one.) It has crossed my mind
that this scene is perhaps a metaphor, for my visit this year… a metaphor of
‘retreat life’? I am more settled this
year, knowing people 2 or 3 years now. I
have heard the ‘crackle’ when the local small “p” politics; personalities; and
dramas flare up; and felt the heat myself as bodily ills attack. While
these troubles are part of all life everywhere, it is said they are greater
here by the sacred mountain (remember the Deepam flame?). There is a belief that the mountain burns up
Kharma and purifies the soul. With conscious attention to the process, there
should be an increase in intuition and a lessening of attachment: Generally, a lessening of ‘ego’, and a
heightening of ‘Self’. If that is so, it
is all quite subtle.
I came down with a cold on the
Friday before New Year’s, and have been nursing the symptoms as they present
and nicely disappear… so far. It is a virus of some sort since I have the
sweats and am quite weak; but the sore throat, nasal congestion, and now chest
congestion have come and gone in their 3-day pattern, as they should. I
actually feel quite good about its progress. All seems relatively well.
AND! Everyone is so helpful. The care
has been overwhelming, everyone turning up with helpful remedies:
friends, servants, and acquaintances including Ranjit, my rickshaw
driver. Each one does their diagnosis and brings along the appropriate pharmacy
packet, fruit, tablet, or drink for me to take.
I am not sleeping particularly well,
so yesterday morning when Alamelu arrived at 8:30am to do the cleaning, I
attempted to explain that I was not feeling well, “No sleep. I’m sleepy,
so no clean today. OK?” “Yes. Yes!” She understands. I hand
her the garbage and am just about to shut the door when she says, “Black Tea.
Strong Black Tea.” “Yes. “I say in agreement. “Strong Black Tea.”
“Yes!” she says, making some gestures… and off she goes. I shut the door,
thinking about the gestures… and it dawns on me… she has gone off to make
strong black tea for me. Sure enough she is back in 20 minutes with a
carrier of tea. In she comes, pours my tea, and starts doing my
dishes. What am I to do??? I sit drinking the sweet! cardamom & milk-tea
just finishing it as she finishes my dishes. She pours out the rest of
the container into my cup. I assure her it is very good…. and! I am very
happy. Off she goes: So much for
sleep and getting rid of congestion. Next comes Gayle (from Calif.) with
several packets of “Vt. C+” and special “C” teas. Soon after comes
Annette (from Tennessee) with an orange and a cucumber. I do feel cared for.
Then, because I am out of propane
again (The tank continues to leak!), I phone Ranjit. “Yes, he will do some
errands for me… propane, lemons, honey, apples, pomegranates.” He picks
up my propane tank and returns in a couple of hours… everything taken care of.
“Tomorrow you go see Pal Polli,” he says. (This is a Siddha
doctor.) I try to say that it is only a virus, and that rest and liquids
should do the trick. “He is very good,” he responds to my comments… and
goes on to explain…“Very powerful. It is GOD you know.” (I am
familiar with the Siddha tradition… rather like the old Shaman
tradition). I agree he is very powerful, but I am not sure that I will
need help. “You go Friday,” he says. So! I have 2 days to get
well. I know I will not be able to weasel out of this one.
Some of the politics and dramas in
all of this are that Alamelu is the gatekeeper’s first son’s wife, and that his
3rd son’s wife just had a baby. We have all been invited to the
baby’s “Naming Ceremony”, tomorrow. I am slowly learning that “gift”
giving is not really appreciated: it is a packet of money that is expected at
the birth… on naming day…. and! on Temple Day. There is also a packet
expected for each servant on each festival… and a bonus at the end of the
Season. I begin to understand, we are all happy because “giving begets
giving”. It is always true I suppose, but there is little choice here in whether
I accept ‘the black tea’… OR what is to be given upon special occasions.
I watch as my attachments to my old beliefs burn away… crackling.
Then there are all the personalities
living in the compound. I try to keep my
friendship with all. But you know how it goes.
Some personalities just grate; some are like porcupines; some just
naturally become friends; some you end up ‘owing’ for past generosities. For instance, it is because of Annette that I
have been able to stay here. Annette is a good friend of Ganesan, and she
paved the way for my being accepted as a guest.
But, Annette is beginning to think this is not the right place for her,
and she is looking for different accommodations. Will there be slights and
repercussions? Ganesan’s secretary keeps the order. She is the decision maker. Small
‘p’ politics abound; and it does feel uncomfortable at times. When one burns, it is called
purification. There is lots of room for
one’s buttons to get pushed. I definitely feel the ‘burn’.
My rickshaw driver… Annette has had
a fight with him and won’t use him… “His
fees are too high,” she tells me. Maybe... he also gives very good
service. He talks passable English; he is always on time; he has a cell phone;
and there is no one else I could send on an errand so easily. Does he get a ‘kickback’ when he takes me to
a store to shop… he knows all the shops??? Who knows??
Just to complicate things there are
a variety of 'formal' roles in our dear compound: the servants with
their employer (and therefore our relationship with the servants); the ‘sadus’
(that’s the 3 of us!) and our relationship with our host and his secretary; and
then all the daily visitors from all over India... and the
world. Many times it is unclear what is expected from one: To join in... or not? To speak up... or
not? Has one been snubbed... or not?? It’s a quagmire... let me
tell you.
Beyond coping with the
personalities and regular small 'p' politics… there is coping with the
'religious' politics. Here, there is Annurahda, who is Ganesan’s devoted
secretary. She has devoted herself to protect Ganesan from the politics
of the power bases that form around various ashrams and gurus. The power
at the Ramana Ashram has gone through several transitions since Sri Ramana’s
death, when Ganesan’s grandfather was in charge of the ashram. After his grandfather, Ganesan’s father was
in charge; then Ganesan took over for a bit; now his older brother is in
charge. Ganesan has chosen to be
independent of the Ashram… “Sharing” Ramana Maharshi’s teachings on his own
front porch (very nicely, I think). It is a fine line that Ganesan must play. He can talk of his great uncle, Ramana
Maharshi, but he must not charge money and he must not ‘be seen’ as a guru… as
representative of the Sri Ramana lineage. It is important to the family and the
Ashram disciples that no one replaces Ramana Maharshi. Oh dear. It is hard on Ganesan. He is well liked. People love to come to his porch… and they do
ask for guidance. So Annurahda has stepped in to ‘manage’ the political
and practical parts of Ganesan’s life. Thus, I discover, Annurahda
has a need-to-know: It is best to run decisions through Anurahda, who is
very sensitive to how “things” will affect the family and the Ashram e.g.,
there is to be no cost for handouts… this could suggest that Ganesan is making
money from being a 'Guru'! So… ‘we’ (the 7 of us who help out)
find subtle ways to come up with the Xerox copy fees for handouts.
This is only the tip of the 'iceburg'...
'cobra's tail'?? I have no idea where the truth lies. I watch
and listen... staying clear of the ‘flame’ as best as I can. I visit the
Ashram almost daily. Ganesan and Anurahda are always invited, as
part of the family, to the occasions at the Ashram. On the surface, all seems calm and peaceful.
On we go… it is not difficult to
feel the dramas: The Indian culture is a very dramatic. “Bollywood” is for
real!! One is always countering the hysterics and the fantasy in the stories
being told. Unlike China this is not a country of stoics. Just like
our Greek Pantheon, the Hindu Pantheon is pure drama, influencing the culture
to be likewise. The Bollywood films are a wonderful mixture of fantasy
with a combination of soap opera and the mythic tradition: ‘reality’ simply is
not in fashion. So, I listen to all the ‘stories’ of needs for money;
people being evicted from their home; and all of what might happen… IF.
One friend gathers donations for the
country children… whose families cannot afford the school fees and would rather
keep them on the farm to work. Really?? Who knows. Another
acquaintance has 3 orphan children living with him… he doesn’t make much
money. “Why?” I ask him… he tells me he had a bad childhood, so likes to
help out… 100rs/month feeds and clothes a child. What to say… I know he
expects a donation. I am “American” and by definition, rich!!
So, “Into the Flame…” I am truly
‘crackling’ in the flame. Five days a week, Ganesan “Shares his knowledge
of Sri Ramana and his writings”, so lots of heart opening. But!! he accepts no questions; no
discussions, and we receive no personal attention. I positively squirm
handling all the ego material floating/leaping to the surface… to say nothing
of what gets stirred with the politics, personalities, and dramas. Thus,
you work “Self Enquiry” to its full… continually experiencing “from whence the
‘I’ thought arises”. Again. Again. And Again! Slowly the Ego
thoughts drop away… eventually, to leave Consciousness (Peace) only!
There you have it! My motto
this year: “Into the Flame”. Gradually, I learn what a ‘retreat’ is
really about. I guess… nobody tells you these things. Yikes. The deep
Silence of meditation is a must; and thank goodness for the gentle silence in
my little “Kutir”… leaking propane ... missing light bulbs… or not!
From the
heat of the flame… Love to you all… Paula
Tuesday,
January 31, 2006
Still
in Awe of the Medieval…
Last year there was the medieval
‘compound’ across the street from my friend’s home, where I was living in
November and December. It so fascinated me. I loved to sit on Yukio’s
roof top patio and observe: No running water, so the fetching of water;
no indoor cooking, so the cow patties for fuel (and sticks) for the low burning
cook fire in the courtyard; two rooms that housed an extended family of 3
generations (7-8 people). The compound was fully self-sufficient with the
cows tied to the front porch poles; the chickens scratching in the dirt out the
back door; rabbits caged in a back corner of the lot, along with mango, banana,
and papaya trees which completely shaded the property and cooled the house.
All this was housed within a 1500 square foot compound.
I was never in the home, but from my
experience this year I would expect that there was no furniture in the house…
not even tables… just a rope bed and woven straw mats. Generally, there is
electricity, but used only for a small wattage, dull light bulb in the ceiling,
maybe a florescent tube (very popular) and a ceiling fan. An outside
bathing cupboard with water cistern and toilet made this compound fairly
modern. There was also the municipal’s open sewer bordering the roadside
of the property… for things to flow away.
(Sewers are a neighborhood responsibility. Everyone keeps an eye pealed to ensure the
water runs along smoothly into the swamp.)
My most memorable image is of the young male of the house in the midst
of his morning absolutions, standing by the bathing cupboard in his freshly
pressed shirt and slacks, brushing his teeth.
This year, I am stunned at the
contrast in living arrangements in our “Ananda Ramana” compound. The
servants live the life from the middle ages, as did the family across from
Yukio. The owners live the life of the modern ‘middle class’.
The servants are an extended family
of 3 generations in two rooms… kitchen and living space (25 sq. ft.??).
During the hot weather, mats (perhaps a rope bed) are moved outside under the
large overhanging roof…. the outside living space has a dirt floor and the
small cook fire. The roof of the 2 room cottage is palm frond thatching;
the floor inside is concrete… this is a new feature, a change from cow dung
polished dirt floor of the past 10 years. There is no decoration; no
curtains for the small windows high up on the walls; no rugs or
mattresses. I have been in a few of these homes. There is no
furniture, rather there are woven, straw mats which are used when sitting down
to eat, talk and for sleep. The focal point of every home is the puja
area and alter… usually in a corner of the living area, but could be in the
kitchen. Around the perimeters of the 2 rooms are water and grain
containers; cooking supplies; and blankets. There may be a metal cupboard
for storage and lots of pots and pans. There is a kitchen sink, but no
running water. There can be a propane stove (1 element usually): Food
is cooked mainly over the open fire, while boiling water for tea and the
cooking of rice is done on the propane. Again, there is only enough
electricity for 1 or 2 ceiling lights and a fan.
The owners, who are middle class and
of the Brahmin caste, have a different living style. In this case,
Anurahda and Ganesan have homes of multiple rooms used for varying
purposes: In their houses there is a kitchen, dining area, Library, bedrooms,
a large Puja Room (instead of a ‘living’ room), screened porch; and bathroom
with shower and toilet. All floors are tiled with glazed tiles or are
marble. The floors of the screened porch (for sitting in during the day;
and sleeping in if the nights are hot) and large Puja Room are usually of
marble… more formal than tile. This is basic middle class; it is not a
grand estate. There are no curtains, but there are lots of windows at eye
level, which have quite beautiful carved wooden shutters on the inside, so
their craftsmanship can be enjoyed (windows have no glass, but are screened).
There is furniture: couches, chairs, tables, usually a computer and TV…
even lamps. Again, there is very little decoration, but there is likely to
be large pictures of Saints, Gurus, or “Gods” hanging in the Puja Room and
sitting porch. There is electrical lighting with lamp fixtures (no bare
bulbs); and rooms are painted, usually in a pastel shade. The wealth is
shown in the materials used for construction: good granite rock, brick,
marble, wood, tiles, and light fixtures (though all of this arrives on ox
cart!). As well as the furniture there are the Puja accessories, which
are usually gold… and certainly big! In
these houses, Puja accessories are never so small that they can be tucked under
a sink or put in a corner. There is no ‘camping’ aspect here.
Last evening I did pradakshina
again, the 14km (8mi) walk around the “Hill”. Last year you may
remember my pradakshina on ox cart… and our travel through the village on the
West side of the Hill. Now, I have walked through that village a couple
of times in the early evenings, right before nightfall. It truly is
medieval: The palm or red tiled roof huts, no running water, cooking over
small fires. I have seen the wheat threshed by hand on the road pavement…
a good hard surface to slap against, and it can be gathered up with little
dirt. They were threshing last week, and this week they were shoveling
the last mound into a sack… about 10 sacks in all! (Perhaps, the harvest
for this year?) On this road the ox carts are numerous, loaded with grain
sacks, or poles, or dirt, or piled high with hay. I am also watching the
installation of sewers and running water for the village!! An open sewer,
with the water pipes above it… double taps every 1/2 block or so. The
village women come with their water vessels to get water for the evening meal…
now from taps, instead of the village well with a hand pump. As I pass
through in the evening all the taps have clusters of vessels around them, with
women gathered taking their turn at the taps. A grand improvement! Each
hut now has a granite slab that bridges the sewer and allows access to the
hut. In middle of the village, there are tea stalls; vegetable stalls; a
wine shop; a barber stall… all about 10ft square… open to the street. The
business is transacted at the front of the stall. All of this has been
here (except the new sewers and water pipes, and some electricity) for at
least 900 years… just as it is today. It is a simple medieval village.
The caste system prevails, also an
early medieval structure, I believe. India’s independence and democracy
have not integrated very deeply yet. Skin color goes with caste.
The Brahman upper class, have relatively pale skin. The servants in our
compound (and village) are dark skinned. The servants wages are minimal,
not a livable wage, though they will be ‘looked after’ if ill or in old age, by
their ‘employers’. One is not allowed to become ‘familiar’ with servant, or
rickshaw driver, or clerk. I have been advised, “They may think they are
equal to you, and begin to take advantage of you.” My rickshaw driver was
very proud to tell me his caste had 5 levels and was, at least, 500 years
old. He explained with enthusiasm, “They
are a calm, non-fighting caste!” He contrasted himself to many in the
town who are of another caste and who tend to be aggressive and get into
fights. The village peoples are separate again… let alone the
untouchable, who still are hired to do the ‘dirty’ work of sewers and
butchering. I might add that the servants in our compound are also proud
of their caste... there are ceremonies and rituals attached which they are
proud to share. They have great dignity.
I have spoken of this, ‘the
medieval’, before. I would notice it always on my trips downtown, around
the Hill, and across the ‘way’ from my first suite. Charmed. I am
still charmed. I get to live, sort of, the medieval life. Perhaps,
I am just more aware of how deeply it runs in this south Indian culture.
When you speak to the middle class, it is the same verbiage regarding the
‘black’ skinned peoples, as the status quo would speak during the American
Civil Rights struggle. Yet… the tea stall owner is very aware of how
poorly his dark skinned little girl is treated by her teachers. It is
obvious that he feels badly. India is a large country. There is no
‘South’. The caste system is throughout India. Is democracy in
India simply a surface ‘skin’, like the English bureaucracy was during the
colonial years?
This morning Alamelu (part of the
servant's family, though living outside the compound) arrived with
breakfast for us. (Anurahda is away in Chennai with Ganesan and the
servants behave much more freely.) So! I had dosas (we had about 5
each!)… a crepe made of a mixture of flours (rice, lentils, and ?? tapioca or
corn) with water; and a hearty soup mixture (name?? Samsora??)… garlic,
onion, green beans, tomato, carrot, and chili!! pepper. One pours on/or
scoops up the soup with the dosa. Very good, though very spicy! I'm
such a whimp.
Love to you all, Paula
No comments:
Post a Comment