India - Dec 2010

Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Subject: More challenges…

December 1, 2010

Cyclone on the south coast today and we are getting the spin off:  heavy winds last night and this morning torrential rains starting about 10 am.  It is now 3 pm and it still pours off and on... mostly on, with thunder frequently in the background. It has been raining most days since about the time of my last update.  Some call it the monsoons.  My medicine bag (size of a gym bag) which carries my 6 month supply of homeopathic/naturopathic remedies (6 separate ingredients twice a day for 6 months which made quite a haul) is now quite covered in mildew.  I hang all garments by the windows so the breeze flows through, keeping the mustiness in check.

What to say?  I have been to the local hospital; the ashram clinic; and a dental clinic downtown.  Had to get blood tests at the hospital to check on the flu like symptoms I was having (could have been Dengue Fever or Malaria... it wasn’t); but my blood pressure was high so a follow-up appointment was necessary and I chose the ashram clinic (closer/cleaner).  More of “India”...  at the hospital surrounded by at least 100 local folk all staring at us (my friend Annette and I were the only Westerners); the walls dirty and stained; and a dog walking the hallways. They actually pushed, yes pushed me ahead of the crowd.  (To get rid of me, I think.  We, of course, think it is preferential treatment.) When they started to check the vitals I was watching intensely (no wonder my BP was up!).  What would the standard of cleanliness be for the thermometer... a wipe with disinfectant on cotton baton; thank goodness it went under the arm and not in the mouth. Later the blood tests... yes, the syringe came out of a sealed envelope, so had not been previously used.   (Cost was $2 for the visit; $11.50 for the blood tests.)  Well, I actually was impressed.  The physician and nurses were well trained and very competent, as only the well educated in India can be:  Puts our average to a test for sure.  But the lack of general building cleanliness, oh my!  The check on my BP at the ashram clinic showed it to be back to normal. The doctor ordered a diabetes check (normal); and checked lungs (normal).  He decided I was suffering a virus of some kind (there are hundreds), so ordered antibiotics to eliminate any chance of a secondary infection.  (The ashram clinic was no cost... free for all people in the neighbourhood.)  The one week series of antibiotics are now completed and I feel almost back to normal.  Unfortunately, last Thursday night a crown came off a back molar. 

Off to the dentist clinic on Sunday.  Oh my!  That was the worst of the medical experiences.  I got there about 5:50 pm before they opened for the evening clinic and so watched the assistant clean up... as usual, the cloth that wipes the floor, wipes all surfaces.  No she did not wash her hands before she started to clean instruments; and assist with a patient. (He did tell her to wash before he started with me... she washed with the dirty tap water.)  He too used the tap water... I guess it could have been filtered; and used gloves (not sure he changed with each patient).  No autoclave... the instruments were cleaned with disinfectant, I think. (My father always told me, “Never ‘ass-u-me’...  only makes an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’.”  Not helpful in these circumstances.)  No drilling was required, so no needle or open skin.  The drill was not near the chair, but on a long vertical pole by the wall... again, I assume, they just move it over to the chair and the assistant holds it as the Doctor drills (No, not a high speed drill, looked to be 50 years old!  I exaggerate.)  The chair was relatively modern (but the position could not be shifted... it was simply set at a tilt) with the usual light above; there was the bowl for spitting next to the chair, no suction; then the glass of water I was offered when the procedure was finished... water pumped in from a sterilized bottle, but the plastic cup had been used before and was half full... he did add mouth wash, to accommodate the ‘Westerner’?  Well, I looked for a clean part of the rim and washed out my mouth... with a very little bit of water, spitting it out almost immediately.   Again, I thought the health professional (dentist) was well educated, and that he made good decisions.  He was able to just clean out the crown (with the drill... hmmm) and re-cement it.  Thank goodness that was all, my limits were definitely pushed.  (Cost was about $11.50.)  Though I would trust his decisions and technique, I could never go for more invasive work.  If it had to be done, I was told to go to Pondicherry. India just does not get the definition of ‘clean’.  Our barn walls were cleaner than the hospital’s walls, let alone the dental clinic! 

When I was at the Travel Clinic getting shots prior to leaving, the physician (who is a well experienced traveler) was adamant that if any serious hospitalization was required I was to travel to Singapore.  I have heard of many successful hospital experiences here in India, but at this point I think I would take the physician’s advice.  I wonder about Dubai.  It appears very modern, but I have heard nothing about its medical care.  Perhaps it is just our Protestant Ethic... “Cleanliness is next to Godliness”.  However, the ethic is so deeply entrenched that the bones quiver when presented with ‘dirt/grime’.

December 8, 2010

In lieu of the above facts, it was not surprising when a friend advised me, as we packed for a trip to Madanapalle in Andra Pradesh earlier this week, to bring a pail with cleaning products: soap, bleach, Detol, scrub pads and brushes, rags, gloves.  She explained that the hotel we would be staying at did not ‘clean’ the rooms. She had tried more expensive hotels in the past but they were in the center of the town so very noisy; had cockroaches; and were quite a distance from the Mother Meera Ashram we would be visiting.  So a choice:  dirt or cockroaches.  I agreed with her choice.  I think I was cleaning the whole time I was there... nothing to do about the window wall that was covered in mold and flaking paint.  The rust coloured stains on the concrete bathroom floor did not come off, so I just poured bleach everywhere, which lightened the stains, and followed up by washing it all down with Detol.

The people in Andra Pradesh are generally more gentle and honest... all prices are marked (though ‘discounts’ may be offered); the sewers are all covered with concrete slabs; the shop steps are solid and wide so easy to climb; the streets are (hand) swept each morning; and the garbage gathered by the sweepers is picked up by garbage trucks shortly after the sweepers have passed.  There are 5 sweepers (all women) working together on each side of the 2-lane street. With their 3 ft brooms, they are always bent over as they are sweeping the dust off the roads on to the dirt.  They also sweep the dirt, sweeping any garbage into piles every 12ft or so.  I saw very little garbage scattered about... what a pleasure.  When the shopkeepers discovered we had come up from Tamil Nadu, they were quite vociferous about what they described as the cruel, vicious Tamil people.  They were very proud of their own people telling us of their honesty and good will. The border between the states was perhaps 2 hours distance at this place.  (Tamil people would describe themselves as happy and generous.)

Since this trip also took us to Chennai on the way back, we were on the road about 10 hours on Wednesday.  Our driver had driven up from Thiruvannamalai to pick us up.  (He left Thiru at 2 am to pick us up at 7 am... our day would be 10 hrs... his day would be 15 hrs.)  My impression from what I saw and from listening to the shopkeepers and our driver is that India is very proud and excited about the new progress.  I also hear this from the e-mail shop staff.  They see the great strides that have happened, particularly over the past 5 or so years.  Such optimism!  It reminded me of the 1950’s in Canada.  They see only a positive future and a constant improvement in their standard of living.  I have been told that almost everyone is now, at least, in the middle class.  The number of new schools, colleges, and Universities is amazing... it seems every 10 miles or so you see another one. The roads and highways are greatly improved:  in the country the 2 lane roads we drove were smooth asphalt, few patches; near the larger towns like Chennai there are divided freeways with raised cloverleaf on/off ramps at major intersections. There are new buildings going up everywhere.  The creativity in the building design is wonderful:  towers of total glass; sweeping circular architectural features facing 10 story offices/apartments; and one was a perfect glass circle over 7 stories high, increasing in diameter with each story.  Those buildings that are concrete often have geometric architectural features and look like cubist or modern paintings.  Every flat surface is painted a bright colour.  India has an amazing ability with colour:  bright orange with turquoise; with lime or bright green; with fire engine red; with sun bright yellow; with magenta.  Striking and beautiful.  These bright colours have taken over from the pastels of the past: coral; green; blue; yellow.  Everything is upbeat.  (If they would only develop a clean water system!  Mr. Tri Pathi says all the politicians are thieves and criminals, doing nothing for the country; that all the improvements are due to individuals; that India is a bottom up country.  Authority cannot be relied upon.  He believes the new well educated generation will start to make demands soon.)

Emphasizing this new upbeat quality is the music.  The Hindu speaking people, particularly, play music constantly (as opposed to the Tamil speaking people, who are noted poets).  The music stations (which we heard for at least 6 of the 10 hrs!) play very fun music.  You can hear so many international influences: hip-hop; calypso; Mexican; 1920’s Jazz; Chinese; Rock and Roll; heavy metal.  Mr. Tri Pathi, my landlord, has explained to me that the Hindu language is very musical.

I have tried to capture some of the new upbeat modern images in photos and will put them on Facebook. (Actually, given I was not able to send this last week... the email shop was closed for 4 days due to a family wedding which I attended... I will send the weddings pictures first, with an update on that to follow.  Also, I didn’t have time to get some of the architectural pictures I want.)

Time for me to stop! But, just to mention... as I work in my room at my laptop, there are 4 women outside my window re-grouting the patio tile on this second floor of the house:  Constant high pitched chatter in the Tamil language.  Barefoot, as usual, each squats next to a small shallow pan of cement and uses the fourth finger to scoop cement for the grouting, smoothing it with a cloth.  The excess crumbs will be swept off with one of those stiff bristle brooms (3ft) when the grouting dries.  All are in beautifully coloured saris:  A bright yellow with sand/beige flowers on one; a white with rose flowers and trim on another (mauve under blouse); a pastel yellow with coral flowers and trim on another; then the supervisor in  turquoise with yellow and brown flowers (rose under blouse). Usually the background has a subtle design mirroring the bigger pattern. (Big flower designs with geometric shapes are in style; the traditional small flowers and leaves coupled with a paisley design are considered old fashioned by the village women.)  The fabric is a synthetic, so does not wrinkle and is easily washed... cost from $3 - $11.   Each of them has gold head jewelry (likely gold plate): earrings; nose studs; necklaces.  The supervisor wears a string of jasmine and small red roses tailing down her long single back braid.  (No wonder they think our dress and hair is ugly.) Those working in the sun wear a head scarf for protection: it is noon, just about quitting time for lunch and the afternoon nap (2 hrs).  (Yes, as I have been finishing up the document, the ‘Tiffin” ... 3 separate dishes... lunch has happened and one woman has curled up in the shade, on the marble tile outside my door.  All is quiet.  Head cloths are off... they all have flowers in their hair.)  Perhaps it is time for me to nap too.  I couldn’t possibly disturb them.

No rain for 3 days!!  Things are drying up. 

Love, Paula

(December 9/10... Woops... fierce winds with lightening, deafening thunder and more torrential rains last night.  Unfortunately, the grouting was not able to dry properly and much of it is flaking away this morning.  December 14... I am still wading through great lake sized puddles on my twice a day walk to the ashram.  Oh well... good practice for the balance.  Sometimes people have strategically placed small! boulders so one can manage these lakes.  AND… my iPhone modem got activated! but the SIM card does not have capacity to access my laptop J. I should have got a 3G SIM card.  Both Andrea and Munusami,… they have now met on Skype!! have been so helpful.  We are all learning.  Fun.)  

Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Subject: Wedding

A very lovely and rambunctious Hindu wedding:  Munusami, the owner of the e-mail shop I frequent, invited me to his sister’s wedding.  The invitation was for 7:30 – 9:00 am at a Wedding Hall downtown:  “Dear... We cordially solicit your presence and blessings with your Dear and Near on the exulting occasion of our marriage...”.  Apparently these halls are used by all religions:  Hindu weddings in the morning; Christians in the afternoon; and Moslems in the evenings.  As we drove through the town when we returned from Chennai, we happened to drive up the ‘wedding’ street and I saw at least 4 signs lit up indicating a wedding in progress:  always a great 4-5ft heart out front with multi-coloured lights and several words/phrases?? in coloured fluorescent tubing.  I learned later, that these halls have boarding rooms above, for those guests that come from out of town.  What a good idea!

What to wear?  Caroline and I had been party to a very elaborate Hindu wedding in Jaipur during our trip in 2000.  I remembered the very beautiful saris.  ‘Samy’ told me not to worry, that his family was not wealthy and that my usual dress would be just fine.  At the same time, he had already told me that the bride would wear a pure silk sari (cost about $400) for the evening reception before the wedding; and a red sari for the actual wedding... many will wear red, as I remembered.  Well I wore pure silk too... a navy blue with small beige spirals, patio pants (long, full) & top I had picked up in a 2^nd hand shop prior to my 2004 trip to India.  (Very old style, but who would know.  Pure silk counts in this country!)  Given I have only black rubber thongs for shoes (which I wear daily through all the mud!), I bought a special pair of shoes:  silver and white thongs with a very large ’crystal’ at the toe, and short silver heals (cost: 120rs or $3). Perfect.  (Though, I was to find out, shoes don’t really count in the villager’s psyche.) Luckily I also had an appropriate silk shawl to cover my bare arms.  And, since I would start out in the early morning and it would be cool (and yes, it did rain), I was also pleased to have a lovely white mohair shawl made by good friend Bette Jean.  (Thank you, BJ!) 

Then to decide on a wedding gift:  I know for most occasions, money is always appropriate.  That was my choice until my rickshaw driver, good Ranjit, (who helped me select the shoes) told me that it would be better if I bought her gold (‘her’ because my invite was due to knowing her brother).   What to say!!  Who does he think I am!!  Well, a gold ring would cost about the same as the $ I had already decided to give, so off to the ‘Gold Store’ we went. 

There is a new gold store in Thiru, due to increased wealth in the district, I assume.  Instead of the usual little shop (8ft X 10ft approx.), this new store is very large: 1,500 ft on each of 2 floors; plate glass windows across the full front.  I had noticed the shop before... always full of people!  It seems to me that the shop has a good 100 people in shopping every hour, all day.  Well, this is how India stores its personal wealth... the women wear it!  So we went to the second floor: rings and earrings (Rangit had already told me I could not afford earrings).  As always, one is offered a seat at the counter and the goods are brought out.  I sorted through several trays.  Not to worry about the size, says Ranjit, the bride would figure it out (what does that mean??)   The classical style is very ornate and fine.  I worried about durability since I was told they were 22K.  I asked for 14K knowing it is stronger:  “NO, the store did not carry 14K,” I was informed with slight disgust, “22K is the best.” I dithered knowing the bride to be petite and conventional, but in the end chose quite a simple plain, more modern ring (thinking I would tell Samy that she was quite free to exchange/redeem, as she chose).  As I made my selection, I became aware of Ranjit discussing something with the clerk:  “What?” I asked.  He tells me the store has an advertising campaign and gives a store credit with each purchase.  (Hmmm, I thought.  That’s why we are here.)  It was to be only 20rs credit for my purchase, which was so little.  Ranjit just laughed and refused the voucher.  Every outing a new experience!  (We also went to fabric stores that day... all more than a bit tiring.  Never seems to get easier.  I couldn’t manage without Ranjit translating for me.  I am very pleased he was so well trained by “Patricia”:  he is very responsible re driving slowly; arriving on time for a pick up; translating; and having a pre-stated ‘price per hour’ when waiting or shopping for you.  He is the only one I know who can do this.)

Shopping was Friday, Sunday the wedding.  No, I did not need to be there at 7:30 am says Ranjit... just the puja happening.  We compromised and he picked me up at 7:40 am.  Good thing!  Though I had shown him the address on the invitation; and he said he knew the hall; he didn’t. He took me to the wrong wedding!  It took me a few minutes, after sidling onto a chair in the women’s section.  I didn’t recognize the bride, but then you could hardly see her for all the headgear she was wearing.  I also didn’t see Samy, or his brother Seenu.  I showed my invitation to the women next to me... not that she could speak English.  She shakes her head, and in Tamil says, ``??? ... wrong place.`` (I think).  I go to the men at the entrance to check it out; they say, ``Yes, yes``… and direct me back to the hall.  The woman looks at me, shakes her head.  I am sitting there, knowing the woman is right, when one of the men comes to get me.  ``Come, come.`` he says.  He re-directs me, in Tamil, of course.  I explain I have a rickshaw driver outside.  He very courteously crosses the street with me, which is thronging with cars, people, motor bikes, cows... even more intense than the usual downtown street what with, at least, 5 weddings taking place.  Ranjit is redirected... but once turned in the westerly direction, he cannot now move to turn in the easterly direction.  A New York traffic jam in Tiru!  I have to get out and walk... about 2 blocks in the throng. I speed along squeezing by slowly moving motor bikes and wandering cows (how do they remain so placid!).  It`s raining.  I figure I`m going to slip given the damn slick soles on the new shoes.  When I finally see Samy, 3 wedding halls down the street, I am most relieved:  Someone I know! They are still greeting, so I am not too late!  He is delighted I came. 

The puja is still in process:  A Brahmin priest throwing the required things into a fire (mostly food stuffs held in a number of brass containers) and chanting.   A five piece band is in full swing:  Loud, riotously, exciting music. (You can`t hear the priest!)  By the way, no lit up hearts for the morning ceremonies: instead, there is greenery decking the doorways to the halls; white xmas lights intertwining in the greenery.

There is hardly any space in the huge wedding hall (300 people or so).  All I can do is move directly from the door at mid center, crossing the room in front of `the wedding platform` as I madly search for a place to sit.  (The seated crowd is mixed M & F at this wedding, so sitting is not obvious.)  I head toward the back of the hall as soon as I can.  (It truly is intimidating to be so obviously the foreigner.)  I see another F Westerner at the back and head in that direction (Mac, comes from upstate NY... my friend and companion for the duration!) 

Well, if you have been able to access facebook, you have seen the photos. The wedding sequence: 1) Puja with 4 main people sitting beside the priest, facing guests: M relative of groom; bride; groom; M relative of bride... other family crowd in the background.  2) First exchange: the bride`s M relative (younger brother, Seenu, in this case) gives `the family wealth` (agreed upon in arrangements prior to the engagement) to the groom (a gold necklace, in this case).  3) Second exchange: the groom`s mother gives `the family wealth` to the bride (a string of pearls tied around the head).  4) Third exchange:  the bride and groom stand; face each other; and exchange the flower leas they have been wearing around their necks.  Great Cheers!  The marriage has taken place.  They exchange places as they turn to face the guests; then sit again... bride moving from R side of groom to L side. The wedding announcement leaflet starts being handed out... see blue sheet in photos. 5) First family blessing: both fathers (in white shirts and pants) stand opposite one another and throw rice into the puja fire.  6) Second family blessing:  both mothers (in red saris) stand opposite one another and throw rice into the puja fire.  7) The bride and groom are then led off the platform to be blessed by the guests.  More cheers, rolling of drums... and throwing of rice.  8) Back on stage they go, entering from the opposite stairway, now standing on stage as a couple to receive their guests.  (This is the gift giving, I discover.)

Ranjit had told me to put the ring on her hand... no way! It remained in the box.  (I didn`t see anyone else decking out the bride.)  Yes, one goes barefoot onto the stage... so much for the new shoes!  They got merrily stomped on by the crush of people jockeying for position to get up the stairs.  At the same time, in all this crush, people graciously made way for Mac and I, insisting that we go up together.  Very touching.

The couple are both teachers.  He teaches English at a private Matric School; she is a guest lecturer in Math at the Government Arts College.  Both have Masters Degrees.  With the schools in session they cannot go on a honeymoon.  Samy said they might go away in 3 months, when the schools are out. 

Too bad I missed the breakfast, given I was late AND had no idea one was being offered.  (It was in the back room.)  I hear it was yummy. On exiting at 9 am, we each received a cloth bag with much writing on it and a coconut (I think this has to do with hospitality; or blessings and thank yous from the bride and groom, but have yet to find out.)  Not a tear in sight... no solemn vows... all very fun!  Not so sure it was as much fun for the bride & groom... they looked to be in shock and very tired.  I understand the bride met the groom for the first time during negotiations.  Dear soul, she is so shy... when she was brought face to face with him she could not raise her head to look into his eyes.  Friday night, at the reception before the wedding, was the only other time they met.  Samy told me she had 25 candidates to choose from.  There are no divorces in Tamil Nadu.  My very best luck to them.

Thinking of you all... and Merry Xmas!